Confidence is something we all want to have. So why does it sometimes seem impossible to see yourself in a good light? Mostly because you have a lot of clutter in your mind and you prefer to focus on solutions outside of yourself instead of trusting your inner voice.
Let’s take a look at my story. I used to have fear of flying, fear of dying, and fear of failure. For 25 years, my first fear kept me from traveling across Europe. My second fear brought me lots of sleepless nights due to anxiety. And my last fear would prevent me from pursuing my dream job to become a life coach.
How did I overcome all of them? By learning to love and trust myself. Here’s a breakdown of how you, too, can make the first steps to putting your fears behind you.
1. Love Yourself
This may seem like an obvious one but trust me – it’s not. Loving yourself doesn’t mean buying a new dress or a pair of awesome shoes. Sure, shopping is not a bad way to lift your mood, but its effects are only temporary.
No, that doesn’t imply that you are an egoistic person. It means that you’ve begun to appreciate your uniqueness and celebrate your strengths, as well as your flaws.
2. Get Rid of Negative Thoughts
Throughout the day, your mind keeps up the chatter about all sorts of things, most of which you don’t even consciously notice. For example: sometimes you get angry, frustrated, or scared—and you don’t really know why. This happens because you are not aware of your negative thought patterns.
Negative thoughts have this nasty habit of coming into your mind and shaking you to your very core. If you don’t do anything about it, you are left with a bunch of glitches that keep you from achieving your goals. So how can you overcome them? I will dig deeper into this topic in another article but, for now, let’s say that there are two ways to deal with negative thoughts: clear your mind and replace your negative thoughts with positive ones.
Meditation is one of the best ways to clear your mind. A lot of people have a hard time seeing themselves sitting in quiet and simply breathing for 10-15 minutes. We all are so used to running through life, working, being with our family and friends, watching TV, or reading books in our spare time. When was the last time you set some time aside to listen to and enjoy the silence?
My journey into meditation began a couple of years ago. I realized that listening to the sea or just laying in the forest would calm my mind and relax me. But I asked myself: what if I’m not able to be amid nature at this moment? Do I have to be dependent on it to quiet my mind?
That’s when I started researching ways to get myself unstuck and began to meditate at home. If you’re looking for a great app to do that, I wholeheartedly recommend Headspace. It’s a great app for guided meditation and mindfulness training with lots of different packs that you can choose from for your problem area.
If you want to learn an even more actionable approach to mindfulness, here’s a great article that explores the benefits of being mindful + 5 quick mindfulness exercises that you can practice at home.
4. Forgive and Forget
Life is too short to hold grudges. People who suffer from low self-esteem tend to hold on to unpleasant memories and feelings. They do that because their mind has already been programmed to focus on the negative. By doing that, they deprive themselves from the opportunity to grow, trust, and love people for who they truly are.
If you feel like you can’t or don’t want to forgive somebody from your past, let me give you a very good reason to do that right now – do it for yourself. You don’t necessarily have to tell that person that you forgive them. The important part is for you to let go and move on.
5. Be Kind
You have probably read about this advice a thousand times before. But there is a good reason why everybody talks about the benefits of being kind to others. If you treat people the way you would like them to treat you, then there’s a great chance that they’re going to return the favor. Giving a stranger a smile, helping others, or calling a loved one to tell them that you really love them – that’s more than enough to start your journey of being more confident in yourself.
Confidence comes from within, but it is closely connected to your relationships with other people. We are social creatures and need to feel noticed, appreciated and loved. The best way to get people to see and like you for who you truly are is to treat them with respect and kindness.
6. Gain More Skills
One of the best ways to boost your confidence is to keep on building new skills. You can begin by setting a goal and sticking with it. For example, imagine that you want to improve your writing skills. How would you approach that? You can start by writing for at least 30 minutes a day, every day, and reading two new books a week.
If you want to become more confident in your professional competencies, you definitely need to focus on improving all the areas that you lack confidence in. Sure, it all starts with one small step. But if you keep on delaying that small step, it may take you a lifetime to get there.
7. Take Care of Your Self-Image
To love yourself is to accept who you are, no matter what other people think of you. It is also important to take care of your self-image because how you perceive yourself is directly linked to the way others treat you.
Let’s say that you want to feel like a beautiful and confident woman but you are afraid of being rejected by men. What can you do in this situation? For starters, realize that you are already enough and you don’t need to prove yourself in order to be loved. Look after your health, wear neat clothes, connect with your inner femininity, and smile. I will write a whole new blog post on this topic, so stay tuned.
8. Ask for Help
We live in a very busy world and every day brings new challenges. One of the biggest mistakes a person can make is to try to solve everything on their own. If you try to take on more than you can handle, you won’t be able to focus on anything and you will probably feel like you’re falling apart. Then your confidence will get damaged and you will have to rebuild it all over again.
In times like this, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Achieving your goals, finding true love and overcoming your insecurities is something that I can help you with. Allow me to share the best self-confidence boosting techniques I know.
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