How to Be More Feminine: Learning to Ask for Help

Here’s something I’ve never publicly shared before: I used to do it all on my own.

For years, I was fiercely independent. I handled everything—chores, work, relationships—without ever asking for help. In my mind, asking for assistance meant two things:

1. That I wasn’t able to do it on my own;
2. That someone else was more capable than me.

You see the problem here? I had strong defense mechanisms that were holding me back.

After years of having no one to care for me or protect me, I knew I had to protect myself. So I let my masculine energy dominate.

This might sound strangely familiar to you since we, women, prefer to help others and sometimes have a hard time when it comes to asking for help.

Perhaps your inability to ask for help might be coming from being raised in an environment where the woman carried all the responsibilities.

Or maybe you hesitate to ask for help because you don’t want to disturb your partner, boss, colleagues, or friends.

There might be a completely different reason for your struggle to be more feminine and soft. Whatever it is, today we’re going to work on letting go of that resistance and I will show you how asking for help might be *just* the thing you need to become more feminine.

If you want to catch up with all the podcast episodes from Project Femininity: the ultimate playlist on how to become a feminine woman, you can watch them on YouTube:

Now, let’s dive into my three tips on how to be more feminine by learning to ask for help and letting go of the need to control.

1. Ask for Something Small

The key to mastering the art of asking for help is to start with simple, low-stakes requests:

• Ask your spouse to help carry the groceries;

• Ask your friend to make a restaurant reservation next time you go out.

Start with someone you know well—someone you have a connection with—someone who might even find your request refreshing.

Now, here’s what you need to remember: not everyone you ask will say yes.

It’s important to understand that this isn’t your fault. There’s nothing wrong with you, and hearing ‘No’ the first time doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask again.

Sometimes, what you’re asking for isn’t something this particular person can give you or you might be dealing with bad timing: no one owes you anything and we all have things we tend to prioritize more.

Now, at this point you might be asking yourself: How is asking for help related to becoming more feminine?

The answer might surprise you: by asking for help you’re allowing, not forcing. You’re letting go of the need to figure things out and letting someone else step in and take charge. You’re shifting from doing (which is a typical masculine trait) to being (one of the characteristics of being a feminine woman.)

By asking for something small, you increase the likelihood of receiving a positive reaction, and that will help you feel more confident when it comes to asking for help and learning to receive as a feminine woman.

2. Detach from the Outcome

This is a big one.

Many women don’t ask for help—not because they fear rejection—but because they worry they’ll be disappointed.

What if the person messes up or doesn’t follow through as expected?

You might ask your partner to go to the pharmacy and worry they’ll get the wrong thing. Or you might ask a colleague to help with a project, only to fear they’ll mess it up.

But asking for help is something every feminine woman should master.

Not because she can’t do everything on her own, but because it shows maturity, letting go of control, surrendering, and trusting others.

Feminine energy is fluid, soft, warm, generous, and kind.

If you’re constantly on the lookout for flaws, wrong decisions, or people who might disappoint you, you’re missing one of the most beautiful things about life: not knowing what will happen.

At first, I thought uncertainty was something I needed to constantly worry about, but over the years, I realized that it actually set me free. Free to explore, enjoy, and simply be.

If detaching from things and people is something you often struggle with, you might find this video really helpful:

3. Express Gratitude and Kindness

No matter what happens after you’ve asked someone for help, thank them.

This person has taken a portion of their precious time on this Earth to do something that serves you.

Show your gratitude with a simple thank-you note, or by simply saying, “Thank you so much for helping me with this—I really appreciate it!”

And if it’s someone close to you, show them your appreciation through affection.

Gratitude for the small things in life is something we could all benefit from, but it’s especially important for women who want to become more feminine.

Letting go, allowing, and accepting are all feminine traits.

If you feel like you’re not supposed to receive help or as if you don’t deserve it, understand that this is just a defense mechanism.

We all want to feel loved, accepted, and understood.

We’re all enough, but we have that inner critic telling us we’re not.

When you ask others for help genuinely and wholeheartedly, you’re not only learning to receive but also giving something back: your gratitude.

We’re all connected.

We can contribute to each other’s lives, help someone else, or ask for help ourselves.

Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s an act of strength, maturity, and trust. It allows you to let go of control and opens the door to deeper connections.

By embracing your feminine nature, you’re cultivating a sense of warmth, softness, and openness. It’s not about what you can’t do alone but about celebrating a shared experience with someone else.

…And isn’t that what life is all about?

Love,