Addicted to Drama: How to Stop Attention Seeking



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I have a dramatic confession to make: I’ve been a drama queen almost all my life.

Whether it was about picking the wrong guys, creating chaos for the sake of getting attention, or stirring the pot with friends just to see what type of reaction I’d get: I’ve done it all.

So, if you’re currently in a position where you’re too invested in your own drama, feel like you’re addicted to gossiping and like to stick your nose into other people’s business when you get bored, I understand you better than you think. And I’ll show you exactly how to stop.

First, let’s take a closer look at the core reason for creating all that drama in the first place. 

Why Do I Create Drama?

There are many possible reasons for being overly dramatic:

✔ It may have something to do with emotional neglect as a child and your way of getting your parents’ attention;

✔ You may have adopted your dramatic behavior from one of your caregivers;

✔ You may be overly sensitive and like to distract yourself from your emotions by looking at what other people are doing.

No matter what your core reason is, there is one simple question you can ask yourself right now and reflect on it:

Why do I like drama so much?

Take a sheet of paper and a pen. Write down all the things about the drama that you like. Here are some questions to get you started:

✔ Is it your guilty pleasure?

✔ Do you enjoy drama when you feel bored?

✔ Is it your way of escaping harsh truths?

✔ Do you do it to prove that someone loves you and pays attention to you?

Now, that you’ve done that exercise and have a better understanding of your WHY when it comes to creating unnecessary drama, let’s get to the solutions.

1. Turn off Your Reactive Mode

Let me explain. When you stumble upon someone who annoys you, instead of picking at them and creating drama just to stir the pot, try to observe your emotions. Take a few deep breaths, notice what happens in your mind when you feel all that drama rising up, and think about the consequences.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself to get a better understanding of the situation:

✔ Do you want to argue with this person?

✔ Do you want to hurt them?

✔ Is this your way of proving your point? Or is something else going on?

✔ Are you mad at them for no reason?

✔ Are you projecting your own insecurities?

Before you react, try to be as honest with yourself as you possibly can.


Our choices define who we are. Share on X

If you want to be drama-free, you have to make the conscious decision to do so and it all starts with being less reactive to the world and being more introspective instead.

2. Stop Watching Drama or at Least Limit It to a Minimum

I know, I know. You may be obsessed with the Kardashians, or a soap opera, or watching sob stories on TV, or, honestly, just watching the news for a little drama pick-me-up.

We’ve all done it, there’s no reason to shame each other.

What’s important is to realize that whatever type of information you feed your brain with, that’s what your mind is going to give you in return throughout the day.

Think about it: if you read educational books on how to start your own business, you will be focused on finding the right tools to launch it.

Energy goes where energy flows. Share on X

If you invest your energy in meaningless drama such as keeping up with the beauty community on YouTube, you will spend your energy on thinking about things that are not really benefiting you in any way.

When we consume drama, we have this nudge to create drama. If you watch drama shows on TV, you will experience much more drama in your life.

Your reactions will change based on the type of content you consume.

So I encourage you to watch fewer reality shows and focus more on creating a reality that you actually love and won’t need to escape from.

3. Learn to Forgive and Forget

Most of the drama we create comes down to overreacting. Whether you haven’t slept well and you feel irritated but won’t admit it to yourself, so you’d rather take it out on someone else; or you feel lonely and desperate for attention, so this is your way of getting some…

We all need to learn to forgive and forget, not only others but also ourselves.

Sometimes we consume other people’s drama to escape our own insecurities or unfortunate circumstances. When we think about other people, that distracts us from our uncomfortable feelings.

It’s so much easier to point your finger at someone else who does something wrong than admit to yourself that you’ve been feeling sad or angry about another thing going on in your life.

Many people create drama and chaos just to feel seen and acknowledged. That’s exactly how internet trolls were born. All people who leave negative comments without any constructive criticism feel hurt.

They’re hurting others because they’re hurting inside.

They just don’t want to address the real reason for feeling sad, angry, neglected, or lonely.

Only by forgiving our parents for abandoning us, or our exes for hurting us, and most importantly – ourselves for not being able to protect and care for ourselves more; only by doing all of that we will be able to move on with our lives and create a life filled with love, compassion, and gratitude.

Drama and acknowledgment are opposite sides of the same coin. Share on X

If we don’t feel acknowledged and seen, if we don’t feel like we matter, we flip the coin and try to get attention by picking an argument or creating chaos for the sake of chaos.

All we crave is that attention, the one we didn’t get a long, long time ago.

The greatest antidote to drama is humility and kindness. When you’re kind and generous with yourself and others, the need for drama will disappear on its own.

Do your best to be grateful, compassionate, and kind, and your life will change in ways you can’t even imagine.


Coach Simona

Coach Simona is a certified Life Coach, CBT Practitioner, author of the book "111 Ways to Simplify Your Life", and founder of  confidence program The Queen Within™.

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