Hard times and surprise challenges are a normal part of everyday life. Sooner or later, we try to make one step forward and, instead, end up two steps back.
Playing the victim and suffering, however, are optional. Even though they are a “great” way to avoid responsibility for the events in your life, they come at a price for your happiness and self-esteem in the long run.
Do you want to be a victim of your life or a master of your circumstances? Over the past couple of days, I’ve been thinking about the power of making the right choices.
Today, I’m going to dig into the ways that you can use to start bringing more awareness into your daily life. Let’s begin!
The “Victim” Role
You know what I’m talking about. We’ve all played it once or twice. Your boss points out a mistake you made and you start to hate everything about the way he treats you at work. A client doesn’t like the first draft of their logo and you begin to think about the way that no one trusts your creativity when they hire you to be their designer.
Your spouse refuses to clean the dishes and you start nagging him how you do everything around the house and nobody ever thinks about your needs as a human being, and not just a wife or mother. Poor little you, right?
Why do we need to play the “victim role” in the first place? We do it to escape responsibility. That simple fact that your actions have consequences—and you’re willing to bear them. There’s no need to feel guilty when someone else takes the blame. In fact, exactly the opposite happens: you are projecting your negative feelings onto them. So why not own them instead?
Every Choice Matters
A girlfriend of mine once told me: “I slept with another man. It just happened! It’s not my fault.” Now, let’s break her sentence down. How can something “just happen?” Clearly, whoever is making that something happen has taken the action to do so. Harder than taking the action, however, is taking responsibility for the consequences. So we rationalize these consequences by removing our involvement from them. This is something we all tend to do, no matter how rational we are.
This is our protective mechanism. Instead of seeing things as they are and acknowledging our role in making them happen, we “interpret” reality in a way that suits us better, taking responsibility away from ourselves and toward the people and environment that surround us. Whenever you catch yourself doing this, stop and reflect: “What is fact and what is simply my perception?” Make 2 columns and write down your thoughts in each of them.
In the example above, taking responsibility for sleeping with another man would be admitting that you made a choice to do it; not just looking at it as something that happened out of nothing in your life.
Making Healthy Choices
Coming up with a workout routine is easy. Sticking to it is not. You need to be making the right choices over and over again, exercising, eating healthy, and resisting the temptation to eat junk food while watching your favorite series on the sofa at home. So how can you make healthier choices and really, really stick to them?
By being present and honest with yourself.
Ask yourself the tough questions:
1. Why do I want to eat junk food right now?
2. What thought patterns are going on in my head?
3. Am I really going to feel better after I do it?
Once you center yourself in the present moment and become aware of the choices that you’re ABOUT TO MAKE, make them. Indulge in your guilty pleasure and don’t feel guilty or ashamed.
Now that you’re conscious of your thought patterns, I guarantee you that you won’t be craving all those guilty pleasures as you did before. This is not about limiting yourself, this is about making your own choices and accepting the consequences that they bring.
It’s almost impossible to always choose the healthy options, that’s why you need to be compassionate with yourself. Sometimes, when you’re angry you will say something stupid to someone you love, or you will drink half a bottle of wine, or eat a whole box of chocolates.
It’s okay. You’re human. As long as you’re AWARE of what you’re doing, everything is under control.
ConclusionWe don’t pay much attention to them, but they define our lives, don't they? Our choices. Click To Tweet
Even if we could have done things differently, we haven’t. And there’s nothing to regret. Every day is a gift and you’re not a victim of the circumstances. If you want to live a better life, you just have to choose to do it.
Make one healthy choice today and let me know how it feels in the comments below.👇
I would love to read your stories.