How to Stop Negative Self-Talk: 5 Steps That Work

by | January 12, 2020 | Happiness, Health, Self-help, Self-improvement

We all know you have that sneaky little voice at the back of your head… 👀

The one that judges. 

The one that’s never satisfied.

The one that blames, likes to play the victim and keeps you stuck.

That voice is your inner critic. It’s NOT you.

I remember the first time I realized that it had nothing to do with my true self. I was completely blown away!

Once I stopped identifying with my negative thoughts, my whole life changed. I started to take risks, make better decisions, and show up for myself every single day.

In the first video for the New Year, I will share with you my 5-step strategy to beat your inner critic and stop negative self-talk for good 🛑 🖐 

Where Does Your Inner Critic Come From?

We all have an inner critic. It usually comes from early life experiences that are internalized and taken in as ways we think about ourselves.

Often, many of these negative voices come from our parents or primary caretakers. And as children, we pick up on the negative attitudes that our parents have not only have towards us but also toward themselves.  

For example, if your mom constantly told you that you were stupid growing up, there’s a pretty good chance you feel this need to educate yourself and prove those voices wrong or blame yourself for being stupid every time you fail.

While silencing the inner critic is possible, I want you to understand that it won’t happen by just watching a few videos or doing an exercise. It’s a process that takes patience, time, and willingness to let go of your old negative thought patterns.

If you want to learn more on how to change your thinking habits, download your FREE cheatsheet below. It’s very simple to use whenever you feel overwhelmed by your inner critic.

Now that we know where our inner critic comes from and how we can track it every single day, let’s get into my first tip on how to stop negative self-talk:

1. Ask Yourself: ‘Is This a Fact?’

There’s a coaching exercise that’s really effective when it comes to identifying useless thoughts and productive thoughts. Most of our useless thoughts come from our inner critic: they’re mean, non-productive, and full of judgment.

Whether they’re all about focusing on our insecurities and shortcomings or judging others, they still come from the same source.

By asking the question: ‘Is this a fact?‘, we make a quick reality check and it becomes easier to spot the inner critic in action. Let me give you an example:

Next time you have thought like ‘Nobody cares about me’ or ‘These people are mocking me’, take a step back and ask yourself: Is this a fact?

Our inner critic is not our enemy if we know how to observe it and let it go.

2. Understand That You’re Not That Important

This may sound brutal, but it’s probably one of the most liberating things you’ll ever learn about yourself if you know how to use it to your advantage.

There are almost 8 billion people living on Earth right now. Do you really think that whatever your inner critic says really matters? It’s just a string of thoughts that you can stop anytime you bring your awareness to it.

Realizing that you’re not that important will bruise your ego, but it will help you let go of your resistance and embrace yourself for who you truly are. Sharing your gifts with the world and being authentic can’t happen if you listen to your inner critic. 

Only by doing all of the things you were put on this Earth to do you will be able to truly silence your inner critic.

3. Create Something Every Day

It doesn’t matter if it’s something small, as long as it comes from you. We live in this day and age where we’re bombarded with YouTube videos, Instagram posts, Facebook lives, podcasts…

So much content, so much information. Click To Tweet

And what ends up happening is we become consumers.

And while that’s not a bad thing, it’s important to take a step back and be brutally honest with yourself. If your inner critic is bothering you so much, it’s a sign you’re not doing. You’re analyzing, rationalizing, and looking at what others are doing.

If you stay in your own lane and create, your inner critic will still pop up saying things like ‘You’re a bad painter’, ‘You won’t sell anything’, ‘Nobody cares about your art’,

but you will have the confidence to say something back this time, like:

‘That’s not true. Look at how many wonderful paintings I’ve painted.’, ‘I’m doing what I was born to do and that’s enough for me’, ‘Maybe I haven’t sold anything yet, but I will’. 

The more you create, the better you will become at creating. And as your confidence become stronger, your inner critic will slowly lose its voice.

4. Ask yourself: ‘Why Is This Bothering Me?’

Every time you hear your inner critic popping up in your head, ask yourself: ‘Why is this particular thing bothering me?‘ When our inner critic gets all flared up, that means we have an old belief we’re still holding onto.

But, why is this bothering you? Dig deeper, there’s always something your subconscious mind is trying to tell you, but you may not be aware of it yet.

If you want to learn how to reprogram your subconscious mind and become more self-aware, watch this video:

5. Become Your Own Cheerleader

I learned this one from my favorite UK therapist Marisa Peer. Silencing your inner critic is a process that begins with you becoming aware of it and then, becoming your number one fan.

What does being your own cheerleader mean and how can you do it?

Praise yourself. Any time you do something well, say things like ‘You were amazing. I’m so proud of you.’

It will be weird at first, I know. But you don’t have to say it out loud if it seems ingenuine to you. You can just say it in your mind or write it down.

Here are some other examples of being your cheerleader that Marisa Peer gives. Writing down ‘I am enough’ somewhere you will see it every day; say the things you wish your parents said to you when you were a child, like ‘You’re lovable’, ‘You’re important to me’, etc.

Becoming your own cheerleader will probably feel a bit forced at first, but I’m telling you it works. You just have to let your inner critic chatter away without engaging with it, and in time its voice won’t matter to you at all.

Now, I want to hear from you: Let me know in the comments below which one of these 5 steps are you going to try? 👇

Love,