“My husband says he wants me to be more feminine, but it doesn’t come naturally to me. How do I become softer, while still feeling powerful and independent? I don’t want to lose myself in this relationship.”
If you’ve ever had a similar thought or if you’re simply interested in becoming more feminine while you’re in a relationship, this blog post is for you.
As someone who struggled with becoming a feminine woman for years, I can tell you one thing for sure: becoming more feminine will not only help you step into your true power as a woman, but it will also make you more desirable and appreciated as a partner.
After 10 years of marriage, I’ve learned a thing or two about relationships, and yes, I didn’t lose myself in this one. I think it actually helped me discover who I really am.
And now I’m here to help you do the same.
But before we get into my step-by-step guide on how to be feminine in a relationship without losing yourself, make sure to take this free 1-minute quiz to discover your feminine archetype:
Now that you know what your feminine archetype is, let’s talk about what femininity really is.
What Is Feminine Energy?
Feminine energy is not about being submissive, weak, or letting your partner always have the final say in everything. It’s about being soft, gentle, fluid, like water.
Think of it this way: when you’re feminine, you attract your partner through your inner, beautiful light. Your femininity is your essence as a woman and even if you think it doesn’t come naturally to you, that doesn’t mean you don’t have it in you.
You can unlock your femininity by understanding that it’s not the same for every woman. For me, femininity means letting go, surrendering control, being open to receive. For other women, it means dressing in cute dresses, spending more time on self-care, or moving more slowly.
The question you need to ask yourself is:
How would I act if I felt more feminine?
Sometimes being feminine, especially in a relationship, might be difficult if you struggle with not feeling good enough or you’re not sure who you truly are, at your core.
If you’re having trouble coming up with any ideas for this exercise, watch this video on building self-worth:
Now, let’s move onto my step-by-step guide on how to be feminine in a relationship without losing yourself.
1. Learn the Art of Receiving
Here’s something that might surprise you: one of the most powerful feminine qualities isn’t about what you give, but what you’re willing to receive.
Learning to receive gracefully–whether it’s love, compliments, or thoughtful gestures–is absolutely crucial if you want to embrace your feminine energy in a relationship.
If you constantly refuse help, want to do it all on your own, or feel guilty about accepting gifts, you’re preventing your partner from being able to take care of you and show you their love and appreciation.
When you’re trying to constantly give, but have a problem with receiving, you’re robbing both of you of this amazing opportunity to connect and be vulnerable with each other.
The truth is that many of us struggle with this because somewhere along the way, we learned that we weren’t worthy of receiving good things, or that accepting help, compliments, or gifts, meant we owed something in return.
What matters is this: the more comfortable you become with receiving, the more feminine you will feel. You will learn that it’s okay to let someone take care of you once in a while or shower you with gifts.
Why? Just because you exist. You don’t have to do anything to deserve love, affection, or attention. You are already enough.
Let go of the constant need to do something for them. Relax, enjoy their presence, and be open to receiving. And if you’re not sure how to communicate your needs effectively, make sure to watch this video:
2. Focus on Yourself
This might sound controversial, but femininity is not about being obsessed with other people. It’s about staying true to yourself, being soft and gentle, and not being afraid to take some time to yourself.
When was the last you did something just for yourself?
I want you to truly reflect on this question.
If the answer is anything other than “today”, it’s time to start seeing self-love and self-care in a different light.
When you take care of yourself, you’re able to be a better partner, and show up unapologetically in the relationship.
Sometimes not being able to focus on yourself has something to with having an insecure attachment. If you want to find what your attachment style is and improve your relationship, take this free 1-minute quiz:
But what does focusing on yourself have to do with being feminine in a relationship?
If you want to become more feminine, you need to know who you are.
What do you want? What do you really like? What would you enjoy having more of? What can you go without?
Ask yourself these questions and let yourself intuitively answer.
Now, think of all the times you obsess over your romantic partner.
You’re worried about them, you want to help them with something, you’d like to fix their problems, listen to them, show them love and appreciation…
But what about you? Where are you in this picture?
Feminine women know that focusing on yourself is not selfish, it’s essential.
If this sentence caused resistance in you, you will find this video very helpful:
3. Become Soft and Gentle
Become softer, gentler, and kinder to yourself and others is one of the best things you can do as a feminine woman. Here’s how to put this into practice.
Let’s say you’re having a conversation with your partner about your finances. Things are getting heated and you notice feeling closed off, guarded, and you feel like criticizing your partner.
Instead of choosing to yell at them, leave the room, or be passive-aggressive, you can take a different route: say something gentle, soft, maybe even touch their hand.
For example: “Hey, honey, I don’t like where this conversation is going. Why don’t we take 30 minutes to cool off and come back to it later?”
Or let’s say your natural reaction when you need to get things done around the house is to demand help, or sound accusatory. Instead of criticizing them for not being there for you, try a different approach.
For example: “Ahh… I feel so tired. Would you mind loading the dishwasher tonight, babe? I would really appreciate it! Thank you so much.”
When you’re kind, gentle, and soft-spoken, you will not only feel more feminine, but you will also step into your true power as a woman. And trust me, your partner will appreciate you even more.
Love,
