“Am I Good Enough?” How to Feel Enough for Yourself Right Now

Have you ever found yourself wondering, “Am I good enough?”

This nagging question affects millions of people, creating a persistent feeling of inadequacy that can hold us back from living our lives to the fullest.

The truth is that the negative voice inside your head telling you you’re not enough has nothing to do with reality—it’s your inner critic, and it’s time to take your power back.

In this article, I’ll share with you why you might not be feeling good enough and give you three simple steps to finally feel enough for yourself. By the end, you’ll have practical tools to silence your inner critic and improve your self-worth.

Before we dive into my first step on how to feel enough for yourself, let’s talk about why we struggle with feelings of inadequacy in the first place.

When you think about it, being “not good enough” is simply a concept that your mind made up. It’s a core belief, and thankfully, it’s something that you can absolutely work on.

Now, what is that voice inside your head that’s telling you that you’re not good enough, that no matter what you do, you don’t deserve success, or that you’re not lovable enough?

Let’s call it the inner critic. Here’s what’s interesting about it: your inner critic is the internalized voice of a critical parent, caretaker, or teacher—someone who insulted you or scolded you repeatedly at a very young age.

The thing is, what your inner critic says has nothing to do with reality.

Want to understand how your early relationships shaped your self-worth? Take this free 1-minute quiz to discover how your childhood experiences impact the way you see yourself today:

The reason you feel like you’re not good enough is that you’ve internalized this belief at a very young age.

It’s so deeply ingrained in your psyche that it’s kind of like the default settings on your phone: you can only change it if you actually put in the work and consciously choose to adopt new, more helpful beliefs.

Here are some of the weapons your inner critic uses to keep you stuck: it may appear the moment you’re about to do something big or scary; or it may be there as background noise when you’re on a date with a guy saying things like: “He’s too good for you, he’ll never call you again.”

One of the most important takeaways I want you to take from this article is that YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS.

Your mind is actually holding you back, and now, I’m going to tell you exactly what to do about it.

Step 1: Become Aware of Your Thoughts

I want you to commit to doing the following exercise every day for at least a week: write down all the negative beliefs and thoughts you have about yourself.

It may seem scary and uncomfortable at first, but in order to rewire your brain, you have to start by getting to know the unpleasant thoughts you’ve been thinking about yourself on a daily basis. 

After you become aware of your negative thoughts, you can proceed to all the negative emotions that you feel as a result of them.

For example, the thought “I don’t feel good enough” might lead to a feeling of shame, sadness, anxiety, or even anger. Write down next to these thoughts the emotions you feel and try to rate them from 1-10, with 1 being the weakest and 10 being the strongest emotion.

The third step in this process is to become aware of the behaviors you engage in as a result of your negative thoughts and feelings. Think of it this way: every time you experience self-deprecating thoughts, this leads to a negative emotion, and you engage in an unhelpful behavior as a result. 

For example, after feeling ashamed of yourself or sad, or powerless, you may binge Netflix, eat junk food, or use other types of distractions to numb the pain.

Now, once you become aware of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, you can choose more helpful thoughts which in turn will help you reframe your mindset by changing the beliefs you have about yourself.

For example, next time you go through the “I’m not good enough” thought/sadness/unhelpful behavior cycle, choose a new thought such as “I’m doing the best that I can and that is enough.”

Or write down something like: “My worth is inherent, I’m already enough.”

Now, sometimes not feeling good enough has something to do with suppressing a certain aspect of your personality. I’ve created a video on how to get to know your shadow self that you might find very helpful:

Step 2: Embrace Yourself for Exactly Who You Are

So far, we’ve examined the core reason for not feeling good enough and how to combat your negative thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Now, let’s get to the best part: developing self-compassion and self-acceptance. 

Embracing yourself for exactly who you are means being okay with all aspects of your personality, every negative sensation in your body, and every unwanted reaction. We all make mistakes, and we all learn from them by accepting the ultimate truth: we’re only human. 

Part of healing the belief of not feeling good enough is to understand that the only way to actually feel enough for yourself is to build healthy self-esteem. So, how can we do that?

Well, the first thing you can do is forgive yourself for all the things you’ve done wrong in the past. It’s so easy to put pressure on yourself, to feel guilty for past mistakes, or to wish you could’ve done things differently.

But if you don’t change the way you perceive the past and genuinely move on from it, it will always hold you back.

Part of embracing who you are means understanding your unique strength as a woman. Many women feel “not good enough” because they’re trying to be someone they’re not instead of celebrating their natural qualities.

Take this free 1-minute quiz to discover your authentic feminine archetype and learn how to show up unapologetically: 

Step 3: Be Compassionate with Yourself

Now, after you forgive yourself, you can start focusing on the traits that you like the most about yourself. If you’ve always thought that you weren’t good enough, this could be a little tricky, so I want you to start small.

I want you to take a moment right now and write down three things that you like about yourself or at least say them out loud. They don’t have to be these big grandiose things.

Here are a few examples: “I like the way I make lasagna” or “I like the way I laugh.” The important thing is to train your brain to focus on your strengths instead of your weaknesses.

Now, it’s time to learn how to be kind and gentle with yourself. If you’re used to beating yourself up over everything, it might be difficult to start being compassionate, so here’s the first step you can take:

Next time you feel like indulging in self-deprecating thoughts or self-criticism, I want you to do the following: sit down, preferably at a quiet place, and just observe your thoughts.

Take deep breaths and see them for what they truly are: transient, repetitive, just thoughts. At some point, you’ll notice that they’ll become weaker and weaker, until they disappear.

When you approach your mind with a sense of curiosity, and detach from the identity you’ve created in your mind, you diminish the power of your negative thoughts.

And here’s where self-compassion comes into play: self-compassion is being okay with exactly who you are right here, right now. It’s about accepting whatever’s happening in your mind and body.

If you want my proven step-by-step framework that will help you learn to love and accept yourself for exactly who you are, check out The Self-Love Toolkit:

Your Next Steps

The question “Am I good enough?” doesn’t have to control your life anymore. By following these three simple steps—becoming aware of your thoughts, embracing yourself exactly as you are, and practicing self-compassion—you can finally break free from the inner critic that’s been holding you back.

But here’s the thing: reading about these techniques is just the beginning. Real transformation happens when you put them into practice consistently.

That’s why I want you to start with just one step today—whether it’s writing down your negative thoughts, forgiving yourself for a past mistake, or simply saying three things you like about yourself out loud.

Remember, feeling “not good enough” is just a belief that you adopted externally, not a truth about who you are.

Your worth is inherent. It isn’t determined by your achievements, other people’s opinions, or your past mistakes. Which means you have the power to change it and start feeling enough for yourself.

Ready to dive deeper? Watch my video on “3 Tiny Micro Habits to Boost Your Self-Worth” where I share the exact routine that helped me go from not feeling good enough to being abundantly confident:

Love,